10 Reasons Not to Vote for Boris Johnson

1. Boris Johnson is, of course, the best argument not to vote for Boris Johnson. Looking back over his career in politics, he’s amoral and betrayed everyone in his life. Not my words, Carol, the words of his own ex-Chief of Staff.

2. He’s friends with Donald Trump, the far-right president and virulent, hate-filled racist. I know Trump is a far-right racist because, like Churchill did with Hitler, I bothered to pay attention to everything he has said and done. Trump’s major achievement, if we can call it that, has been to re-introduce concentration camps and fire tear gas at toddlers in nappies. Johnson either actually likes him or is just pretending. Neither is better than the other.

3. What has he achieved? Name something Johnson has done, if you are going to get all valence on me. Never have we known so much about so little. For eight years Johnson, as Mayor of London, had the third largest mandate in Europe (the Presidents of Portugal and France before you fire up your emails). What did he do with it? What did he do as Foreign Secretary? No, a policy. I bet you are thinking Boris bikes. Even if you did choose Boris bikes, Boris’ cycling policy, overall, helped affluent, white, middle class men. Or, according to this study ‘Boris bikes don’t improve health or reduce pollution’ i.e. helped no one and nothing. Boris bikes, incidentally, were Ken’s idea. ‘Ken bikes’ doesn’t have the same ring, I know, and sounds like a Channel 5 series where Red Ken gently cycles through the low-countries pointing out Nazi architecture.

4. He is a racist. You can shout ‘context’ or ‘irony’ all you like but he fits my (admittedly basic) definition of racism ‘does he say racist things?’ His defence is that he ‘wrote’ them, as if writing them in major publications makes it excusable rather than far worse. It’s a bold comeback to say ‘it can’t be racist because I wrote it in a magazine/newspaper’. He apologised for one, though he apologised for the ‘offence caused’ not for being racist. Remember, his comments led to a surge in attacks on Muslim women.

Try this exercise. Imagine if someone you didn’t know said those same things to you face-to-face. They said, in the course of casual conversation, those words, those expressions and those phrases. And they suggested, mischievously, we re-colonise Africa. How would you react? I hope it would be very much like Father Jack did to a cup of tea.

In his interview with Andrew Marr ‘he is proud to say that his great grandfather knew the Qur’an off by heart’. Well my great-grandad was a wheelwright but don’t, repeat don’t, bring your broken wagon wheels to my house. Unless they are chocolate ones.

5. This raises, of course, a huge issue of trust. If he keeps saying ‘yes but that was just something I wrote’ what about all the other things he wrote and said? Ever? What is a lie? What is true? Down the post-truth fascist-y rabbit hole we go…

6. He is fragrantly inconsistent. In the wrong hands this is downright dangerous. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, ask Ken Livingstone.

7. He won’t get Brexit ‘done’. It can’t be ‘done’. It’s not like the washing up. In fact, I take that back. It is just like the washing up. Even if it’s done, there’s more to do later today, tomorrow and forever unless you (i) stop washing plates (ii) stop eating on plates (iii) stop eating. None of these are viable, so you’ll be dealing with it forever. A dishwasher might help or you could get someone else to do it-but someone, somehow carries the weight of your washing up.

So, imagine Johnson barging into your house announcing ‘I’m going to get your washing up done’. You would tell him to Foxtrot Oscar unless his Russian donor friends could shout you a dishwasher.

8. He doesn’t know the words to wheels on the bus. It matters because (i) he didn’t bother to brief himself (ii) didn’t bother to learn the words. Let me tell you a story about Lloyd George, no slouch in the ‘dodgy, messy life’ PM stakes. Lloyd George had to argue a certain position at Versailles in 1919. His officials, like good officials, prepared two papers arguing either side. Problem is they gave him the wrong paper, arguing the wrong case. Half way through his speech, in a panic, they gave him the right paper and he shifted argument, mid-sentence. And no one in the room noticed. And Johnson doesn’t know the words to wheels on the bus.

9. Johnson breaks up Britain. See this poll on Scottish Independence:

The Panelbase survey of 1,024 voters shows that 49 per cent of those questioned support Scottish independence (up one point since last month) while 51 per cent are against it… However, when asked how they would vote if Johnson were to become prime minister, 53 per cent say they would back independence, with 47 per cent against it.

Add to this is the fact that he has somehow, miraculously, already pushed the DUP towards Remain. And he hasn’t even started Brexit yet. Remember, as this great piece explains, ‘domestic’ and ‘continental’ politics is closely linked and moving one disrupts the other. Getting Brexit ‘done’ (see above) could well mean getting the UK ‘undone’. His mere presence breaks up Britain more.

10. Johnson runs and hides from everything. I know the human brain seeks out patterns where there often are none, but Johnson’s career is nowt if not a flashing warning light. Run and hide from scrutiny or problems. He ran from controversy (several times) as a journalist and hid from the 2011 riots as Mayor. He ran again from his responsibilities when Leave won in 2016. Shall I go on? OK. As prime minister he ran from scrutiny in parliament. He ran from the Liaison committee. He ran from, and continues to run from, his responsibility to Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe . He ran from his responsibility over Conservative donors or the buried intelligence report on 2016. He even ran from his responsibility, caught on camera, mocking Trump (notice they mocked him for ‘lateness’ and none of them had the moral courage to say ‘how dare that far-right president come here and, by his presence, dishonour the rows of war dead in Europe’). For PM Johnson, these are the good times and all he has done is run and hide. What will he be like when things get bad?